Well.....we had good intentions of attending Pierce's best friend's graduation party yesterday, but when the moment came around to time to get ready, I just n couldn't. The old familiar feeling - of the rod between my shoulder blades - came back.
I've come to recognize this as a 'sign' of impending doom...something is not right....something I shouldn't do.
So at the last minute, I made the decision not to go. I realized that being in a party type atmosphere would not be good for me.
Yes, I want to celebrate with Cole, but not all the others. I don't want to pretend that everything is great, perfect, okay. Because for us, it's not, and that's the bottom line, simple, very raw truth of the matter.
We will, celebrate with Cole and his parents in a private setting this next week, which will be great.
When things hit you unexpectedly, out of the blue, it's hard to know how to react...do you 'buck up' and do what's expected...but now, two years into our journey of surviving Pierce's suicide, I've come to the realization that I have to start making choices that are right for me, my mental health, or there won't be anything left of me to give. #TeamPierce #heldtogetherwithducttapetissuesandprayers